If You Can't Lie No Better Than That...*
You Might As Well Tell The Truth.

With the philosophy portion is out of the way, The Crank finally weighs in on Lieberpalooza '06. It's not as though there were any rush. His constituents' public rebuke was long overdue and sadly limited in scope, considering how many of his imitators are free to carry on as they always have. This holds true regardless of whether he ends up winning or not.

In fact, I had hoped to link to a particular/typical clump of Democratic faithful denial that I stepped in barefoot last Sunday morning. Serves me right for knowing it wasn't the proper neighborhood for The Crank to be touring in the first place. Unfortunately, I couldn't locate it again today. All this stuff blurs together over time. You'll have to forgive me on grounds that I have never aspired to be a big-name red-toothed blogger/journalist. Or because you know me to have all the computer savvy of a freshly-canned snail.

Along with the obligatory sneer at He Who Must (Or Need) Not Be Named Again, came a sentimental bleat that revealed more than its writer meant it to. Her/his claim was that as long as the DP remains the party of Waters, Kucinich, and the other legions [sic] of compassionate proggies, it would be churlish and cruel for "us" to leave the DP. When they head out, said Sentimental Lady/Gentleman, it will be time for us to head out.+ Well, I've never been one to avoid kicking one leg out from under an argument that was built missing the other three anyway. Spare me, Ms/Mr. Sentimental.


Having been a bona fide Sucker for Kucinich back in '04, I speak from experience. The person who wrote this passive-aggressive twaddle knows damn well that the in-house proggies aren't going anywhere. Why not ? Who knows ? Maybe they enjoy posing as beleaguered rebels in an environment that requires them to deliver exactly nothing to truly further Progressive causes, at least at the national level. Maybe they like being well-paid tools whose primary function is to lend the DP cred that its masters do nothing to earn. Maybe they are exceptionally prized behind the scenes for their crucial role in getting the Sentimentals herded, trussed, muzzled and closeted whenever the shit threatens to hit the fan (ie- national conventions). Maybe the Party leaders have a file with pictures of Kucinich, et al smoking pot arm in arm with the Culkin brothers at the Neverland ranch in 1989, and they wave the negatives in Denny's face every time he gets uppity.

There are probably as many reasons why the prominent "good Demos" stay as there are stars in the sky. Frankly, who gives a fuck ? Fact is, they aren't leaving, and Sentimental Lady/Gentleman knows it, too. SL/G's statement of steely resolve is thus a self-aware lie about people who have allowed their careers to devolve into a meaningless exercise . One of being a well-paid, well-compensated "conscience" for a party that feels no moral obligation whatsoever to anything but its own bloated wallet.

Biting into this sugar-coated morsel of festering tripe in the context of Lieberman having his wrist belatedly slapped, and his subsequent temper tantrums, is hilarious. Every liberal's discussion of such specimens has some breathless qualifier that He Who Must Not Be Named is yet unforgivably evil because of the 2000 campaign hype that claimed no important differences between Dems and the GOP. I have heard multiple times now that it was less Senator Shithead's policies and more his public cuddling with Bush that got him a chance to be canned. Does this mean that even hype has a core of truth to it ? Lieberman was "different" than Santorum but not "different enough."

Sorry, Mr/Ms Sentimental, but you are busted. I told you seven years ago that whatever differences exist would not be enough to save our asses. Looks like you're finally coming around, a little. Too bad that you can't just come out and say it. Or you can only say it through a token who, BTW, isn't lying down just because you've told him he's dead.

The Crank hopes that the whole thing begins a new era of DP profiling. Maybe some snappy posters of Joe with a line through him saying "A Little Difference Ain't Enough Difference." How about DiFi or HRC with the words "More Difference Wanted. Apply Here." emblazoned across her thousand dollar suit ? It could happen. And The Crank could win at Powerball, too. Without even bothering to buy a ticket.


+I'll put five-to-one odds on this clown having an "If The People Lead, The Leaders Will Follow" bumper sticker on his/her car, too.
*With humble thanks to Delbert McClinton, and also to Deborah Coleman. It was her last CD which introduced me to the song.