Once upon a time, in a magic land called suburban New Jersey, there lived a four-eyed, flat-footed child who liked to make art. She squandered huge amounts of money, energy and time (both her own and that of others) before finally admitting that she was much better at collaging than at any other media she'd ever tried to master. Having moved to the West Coast some time before this long-overdue revelation, she worked in an endless series of sinkholes. Some were gilded, some were not. But in various ways they all stank and had nothing to do with art, either. With a lot of help from her kindly husband and surly cat, she has survived the last couple of years without ending up on the street. In addition, she enjoys coffee with soy milk, short stories, and getting thrown off other internet sites for her lousy attitude. Sometimes she adds a shot of bourbon or rum to her coffee, which enables her to ignore common sense and to imagine living happily ever after.